Guys always ask me the same question when I return from approaching a girl: What did you say? Specifically, they want to know what my opening line was. I ask the same question to other guys too actually, and it’s because the nature of the game dictates that the opener is the hardest part. You always want to know how this guy started an interaction with a cute girl. It makes sense because the first move feels like the part that could ruin everything.

This isn’t a bad question to ask because it can give you ideas, but understand that what you say is less important than if you actually say it. When it comes to approaching, doing is far more important than doing right. My off-the-cuff openers are usually pretty retarded, but the fact that these casual lines got me in means the better parts of my game could take over. The lack of an award-winning opener should never prevent you from talking to a girl you like.

After sharing an opener with a guy that resulted in some type of number or fluid exchange, you’d think he would want to immediately try it out. But he doesn’t—he just stands there, wondering how that could have possibly worked as cute girls walk by. Guys hung on words are waiting for the perfect line to deliver on the hottest girl. That’s not game—that’s playing the lottery, waiting for the one in a million jackpot to bring you riches. Approaching is more like the poker grind.

Approaching is more like the poker grind, where you lose a majority of your hands dealt but can still go home a big winner. The last opener in a coffee shop that resulted in at least a number was, “You look like you are having a hard time studying,” and at night it was, “You should have given him your number.” These aren’t worthy of being copied because they are just average, but average is enough when you actually move.